Sticking to the Cover
by kiwiosity
Summary: No matter how crazy, you always have to stick to your cover. A collection of oneshots. Assorted couples. III: It always starts with a dare. M-ish.
1. Pretty Chameleon

**hey. so this is in honor of being on the favorites and alerts list of fifty people. yes. fifty people. each. -jumps up and down- thanks to everyone who has favorited, alerted, etc. to me or any of my stories. :D love you all.**

* * *

**Sticking to the Cover**

"Cammie! Are you ready yet?" Zach called, banging on my door.

I stuffed a gun into the little band around my thigh. "Um, almost. Come in." I began to unclip the rollers in my hair and searched the bag in front of me for blue contacts. After I found them and put them in, I opened a drawer a found four skinny knives, which I slipped into my boots.

I heard Zach enter the room. "Hey, the car is here, and Bex and- whoa."

I wheeled around and glared at him. "Don't. Say. Anything." He stood back, smirking, and quite possibly admiring the view.

Because, while he was dressed as a hotshot trust-fund living newcomer to the business world, I was dressed as his prostitute. Yeah. I wanted to ask if the Director was crazy too. But apparently, lots of rich business men liked to indulge. Like, a lot. The upside? The black dress... and black high-heeled boots... and fishnet stockings... well, they could all conceal an amazing amount of weapons. The downside? Um, everything else.

"You, uh, really went all out," Zach commented, as I rolled my eyes and looked for my coat.

"Shut up, before I poke your eye out with one of the twenty-four knives I have."

"Ha."

"Not joking." I saw it, finally, next to my bed... On the floor. I walked over, and tried to pick it up without bending over or squatting. Which I couldn't do. "Can you pick up my jacket?" I asked Zach. And I'm one hundred percent sure he would've complied. If he wasn't so busy staring into the contents of my bag.

"Abendroth's Calls?" He asked, holding up a card. I sighed.

"It's part of my cover. Now can you pick up my coat?" He continued staring at the card. "Didn't the Director tell you anything? Oh, and that has a sharp edge." He put it back in my bag and opened his mouth. "Make one joke, and I will-"

"Yeah, yeah, twenty four knives, whatever." He walked over and picked up my jacket, handing it to me. "But seriously. Can you even-" I grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, pushing him towards the door.

"Go away."

"I'll be in the car!" He called, as I shoved him out the door. I shuffled around my bag, looking for the flesh-colored camera and mic. Taking it out, I activated it, and put it on my neck, where it stuck. And where, of course, the sexual harassment began.

"Holy cleavage, Batman!" I heard Grant's voice cry. "Is that Cammie?"

"Cammie can hear you, jerkface," Macey said.

"I like this cover," Grant confirmed. "I think all of you girls should use it more often."

There was a sound of skin hitting skin, and I suspected Bex. "That hurt, Baxter."

"That's my best friend you're zooming into."

I straightened up. "What?!"

"Cammie, honey, put on your coat." Macey advised. I slipped it on and wobbled out of the door. "And walk straight! Oh my God."

"I'm sorry, but these heels feel like I'm defying gravity or something and-" I stumbled out the door. "Crap. Ouch." I slammed my door shut. This was seriously frustrating.

"Maybe I should've taken the cover," Macey said worriedly. "Are you sure you aren't going to die, Cam?" I grumbled in response. "Oh, come one, they're only three and a half inches." Right. _Only_ three and a half inches. Something was wrong with this girl.

"If it's any consolation," Grant started to say, and I knew it wasn't going to be a consolation of any sort. "If you were a real hooker, you'd be really, really expensive."

"Thanks, Grant. I hate you."

The neighbors were starting to look at me funny. I smiled and waved, pointing to my ear as if to say I was on a bluetooth and so they wouldn't call me crazy for talking to myself. I spotted the standard black car sitting about three feet away. I was beginning to think I couldn't even make it two feet away, when it moved forward and the door opened. Grant was the first person I saw, and he had a huge red mark on his face. I gestured to it, holding back a smile. "Um, you have something on your face."

"You're best friend loves you very much," he said through gritted teeth. "I'm pretty sure she'd kill for you."

"Pansy," I heard Bex say.

"There's a spot next to Zach," Macey said, adjusting the rearview mirror. And that's how I ended up in the back back row of the car, with Liz on one side and Zach on the other. Except Liz was typing away at her laptop, so it was basically only Zach. Yeah. It was going to be a long car ride.

"So, do you have a nickname?" Zach asked, grinning. He was enjoying this way too much.

"A nickname?"

"You know. All the prostitutes have one. Like Bubbles. Or The Black Amethyst. Or something."

Grant twisted around so he could face us. "No, man, that's strippers."

"I don't like this conversation," I announced.

"How do you know strippers have nicknames like that?" Bex asked.

Grant turned back around. "Um, common knowledge... And stuff."

"You mean you've never gone to a strip bar or anything," Bex clarified. And it was her tone that let Grant know he was in trouble.

Grant let out a short laugh. "Ha. No, of course not."

"Or hired one for Zach's twenty-first birthday party?"

Grant shot her a look. "See, now you just ruined the surprise."

"Oh my God," I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

"You hired a stripper for me? Thanks, man," Zach said, high-fiving Grant. Bex, Macey, and I exchanged a look. Liz tapped away at her computer.

"Yeah. Her name is the Officer," Grant shared excitedly. "And the chick she's arresting is called 'Miss Behaved'. Hot, right?"

"Of course," Zach agreed. They were both grinning broadly now.

"Hey! One more word of strippers and I put on the Pussycat Doll CD!" Macey yelled from the front.

* * *

"Nice hotel," I commented, glad that the whole stripper conversation had died down.

"It better be, or else this uniform that I'm wearing is going to be shoved up-" Macey started to say, but Bex cut her off.

"Shouldn't Grant be driving? He was supposed to be our chauffeur, anyways." Macey drove into a little place a bit off from the rest of parking lot, and Bex pushed Grant out, then followed. Macey exited the car, and now it looked exactly the same as the rest of the shiny black cars, filled with young starters and experienced old businessmen. And, quite possibly, their call-girls.

But it was for the sake of America, okay?

"By the way, this cover is perfect," Grant said, sliding into the front seat. "If I had a trust fund, I would definitely spend it on-"

"I think you can drop us off here, thank you," I ordered. I sighed. Zach looked at me and smiled.

'Ready?"

"This is for the sake of this country's safety. I'll just tell myself that."

"Okay, and we have to sell it, so you need to, um-" He trailed off, then held his arm out.

"Is Zach getting shy? That's so cute," Grant basically squealed.

"And if I fall in these ridiculous heels, I am shooting everyone I see," I said.

He shook his head. "Don't do that. Just don't fall."

"Fine." I took off my coat and exhaled deeply. "Okay. I'm ready." Zach peered out the window.

"Hey, look, I think there's another one. And another one. The Director wasn't kidding when he said this would be a perfect cover."

"Thanks, Zach," I muttered. Grant got out and opened the door for us. We climbed out and I held onto Zach's arm. How does a prostitute walk, exactly? Well, she would try to be normal, but she also has to be her money's worth, right? Also, it's pretty hard to walk normal in really high heels and an increasingly tight dress.

"Are you okay?" Zach asked.

"Just trying to stay upright," I said cheerfully. I figured she'd want everyone to see her, so she'd make even more money. Or maybe she'd walk quickly, to try and get to a private place quickly? Did a hooker enjoy her job? Oh my God. This was way more complicated than I thought it would be.

"Relax," Zach instructed me. Maybe a hooker was ignorant and just didn't care. Maybe she cared a lot and made no eye contact. Did she walk with purpose? What kind of purpose? Maybe I should strut. Okay, no. "Relax. You're at... a prom..." Zach tried. "You're at the ball. Remember? Sophomore year?"

"How could I freaking forget?" I hissed. "That's when my bra fell down and you kept appearing places-"

"Wait, that's why you ditched me?" Zach asked, surprised. "I thought my debonair dancing skills were just too much for you to handle."

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you knew everything, _Spy._"

"Ahaha, irony, you're so hilarious. I thought it was my debonair dancing skills." I sighed.

"The point is, I didn't really feel like _relaxing_. Not to mention, _I wasn't dressed as someone you paid for!"_

"Details, details," he said, waving them off. "Just... stick to the cover."

"I'm _trying._" We walked a few more feet, and I realized I must be doing _something_ right, because one of the hotel employees was staring. _Wonder how much that cost,_ I heard him say to his fellow employee.

"See, you're not doing too bad," Zach said, pressing the UP button on the elevator. "Wait till we get to the hotel room."

"Yeah, then you can go and-" the elevator _dinged._ "-yourself."

* * *

The actual place where the event was being held was very classy, even though every few rich guys I saw another one of 'my kind'. In fact, one of them came up to me, and asked 'how I did it', because apparently, she went on 'house calls', but one of her friends worked at the 'warehouse'.

After throwing up a little, I told her I was on house calls. Because I didn't really want to think about warehouses. That was just wrong.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zach go up to some Middle-Eastern guy, pretending to be interested in making an investment in whatever. They shared a couple drinks, and even though I could hear what they were saying, I tuned them out, trying to look as airheaded as possible.

"And... go," I heard Macey's voice say. I took a deep breath. This is where my cover came in. What Zach was supposed to have done was seriously piss off the Middle Easterns. And then, he would order some special drink, then we would go up to a hotel room, and then we'd totally kick ass. Slowly, I walked over to him and grabbed his arm.

Crap. How did a hooker talk?

"Mr. Goodson, we only have an hour," I said, disguising my voice with a foreign accent. The Middle Easterns, all of whom had looked slightly pissed off before, stared, testosterone washing over their faces. And all I could think was, _Never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Again. Never. _"Unless." And I couldn't really decide whether to say 'pay the boss' or 'give me tips', because both sounded fake and made me laugh, so I just trailed off. Trying to sound hookerish.

"Yeah, we should go now," Zach confirmed. I pulled him towards the elevator again.

The elevator took us to our floor, and we walked inside our room and began to scan for bugs. Then we heard footsteps.

"Uh, guys, get into your covers, like, now," Macey ordered. "Haha. I'm so punny. Get it? Because the covers... and the bed... and the covers... Ha." Zach and I looked at each other. Trying hard not to blush (because prostitutes don't do that.), I pushed him onto the bed.

"Loosen your tie and unbutton your shirt," I said, smearing the edge of my lips a little bit to smudge the lipstick. "Now." He fumbled with his tie as the footsteps got closer. Then, I climbed on top of him.

Awkward? Yeah...

The doorknob jiggled, and there were mumblings outside, but it was kind of the least of my problems at the moment. Surprisingly. "Zach!"

"What? I can't- I can't control it, okay?"

"He's right, you know," Grant agreed. I sighed.

"Try!"

"Well, right now, I can kind of see right down your dress, and it's not really helping with anything-"

I resisted taking a pillow and killing him with it. "Close your eyes."

"Yeah, that'll help," he mumbled, closing them. The door broke open. Five or six men burst in, and I felt myself being pulled off the bed.

"3, 2," Macey whispered, counting down. One of the guys pulled me aside, and I held my hand out. "Haha. You're funny." He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill. He reached out to hand it to me, and I grabbed his hand and threw him onto the floor. Unconcious.

I did the same with two other guys, while Zach took care of the rest. Kicking, knifing, punching. Finally, something I was comfortable in.

"Body count, three, one from Cammie, two from Zach," Macey calculated. "Rest are unconcious. We're sending in clean up. Awesome job."

* * *

"That was awkward," I sniffed, watching the playback from when Zach and I entered the hotel room. "I am never, ever, ever doing that again."

"But it was such an awesome cover," Zach protested. "I liked it."

"I hated it. I hate you."

"You two stop bickering, you're starting to sound like Grant and Bex," Macey called.

"It was horrible," I stated, ignoring Macey.

"It was fun."

"For you!"

"And not you?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Zach, you weren't dressed up in _fishnets_ pretending to seduce the person you've-" I stopped and stared out the window. He poked me.

"Say it."

"No."

He leaned back, smirking. "Why not?"

"Because if I do, I'll have to kill you."

He laughed. "Whatever. I already know." I gave him a look. He stared back.

"Right, because you know everything."

"Not everything, just most things. After all, I am a spy."

"Not a very professional one."

"Are you still mad about the thing?"

"Yes."

"But-"

Macey cut in before he could finish. "Guys, shut up. Seriously." There was weird pause. Then Grant spoke up.

"I volunteer Bex to be the next cover hooker."

* * *

**haha. unrealistic, cheesy, and totally fun to write. review? :)**

**~kiwi  
**


	2. Learn from the Best

aren'tcha glad? after a couple months and (holyshit) fifty-seven reviews, i've decided to make a companion(: anyway-- this one is about cammie having to seduce a guy, with grant and macey coaching her. xD  
note: this is sort of more M-ish. there's swearing and like, content. but it won't be worse than gossip girl. well the swearing will be.  
and by the way, this is totally random and weird. seriously.

* * *

**Learn From the Best**

"Tip one; be forceful, but not _too_ forceful," Macey McHenry said.

Grant Newman nodded, agreeing with her. "Men love aggressive women."

I stared at the two of them. We were in a limo going to another business party, and my job? To keep one of the businessmen "busy" while the rest of my team did... Spy stuff. Normally, I loved being Cameron Morgan, doing the dirty work while _Macey_ went and kept people "busy", but for some reason, I was the one in the heels and the designer dress, with an ID card that said I was Liana Bell, daughter of some rich guy. My hair was twisted into a bun, which at first was painful, but now I couldn't feel it. I hoped it wasn't because my head had gone numb.

"Tip two; don't listen to Grant," Macey told me.

Grant stuck his tongue out. He was like a twelve year-old stuck in a twenty-one year-old's body.

"Here's your mic and camera," Macey continued, handing me my equipment. She also tossed a small wrapped packages with them. I stared at them.

"Um, why do I need these?" I asked timidly.

"Just in case," Macey said nonchalantly. I stared at her.

Grant snatched one of the packets and looked at it. "Aw, is the little Chameleon growing up?" He looked at it more carefully, then burst out laughing. "They're texturized," he breathed between laughs. I turned red. "Texturized." He attempted a straight face. And failed.

"Grow up," Macey snapped at Grant.

He quieted down, then mumbled "texturized" one more time before collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"Now go," Macey said, opening the limousine door.

"Texturized," I heard Grant say.

* * *

"So, I just hope you know I really don't know how to do this," I muttered, walking towards the hotel.

I could hear Macey snort. "That's why we gave you tips beforehand, Chameleon," she said, yawning. "Grant, just shut up about the texturized, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," I heard Grant's voice say. "How old is Cammie again? She can't be a virgin-"

"I'm not," I grumbled. I was twenty-one, for God's sake. But this whole, seducing strangers thing was kind of... not my forte.

"So, just imagine that this guy is..." Macey trailed off. "Hey, who did you have sex with?"

"Yeah, who?" Grant asked.

"Not important," I told both of them.

"Just assume it was Zach," Grant told Macey.

"It wasn't," I said.

Macey laughed. "Aw, did you hear that, Zach?"

I froze. "Zach's there?" I asked.

"She's lying," a new voice said.

"_He's_ lying," I countered immediately.

"Defensive much? We really don't care," Macey told me.

"I care," Grant said.

There was a sound of slapping. "Ow, McHenry. God, Morgan, your friends are super-protective of you."

"Yeah, thanks, Macey," I grumbled, not really feeling grateful or anything.

There was a sound of clapping hands, and Macey's voice came through loud and clear. "Let's get this seduction thing on the road!"

* * *

"Eye contact!" Macey hissed in my ear.

"With who?" I hissed back. I was holding a cell phone to my ear so nobody could think I was talking to myself.

"With Mr. Black Armani Suit," Macey said. I looked around. Everybody was in a black suit and I couldn't tell if they were Armani or not.

"Something more specific, please?" I muttered.

"The guy by the bar with a martini. Grey tie."

I looked around again, my eyes landing on a handsome young man in mid-twenties. "Oh, I see him," I said quietly. "He's _cute_."

"He's a jackass. He blows up everything in his way," Zach muttered.

"Yeah, but he probably looks cute doing it," I said, making eye contact with him. "What's his name?"

There was the noise of rustling papers, then Grant's bark of a laugh. "Wow," he said.

Macey also seemed to be laughing. "What is it? What's his name?" I asked, suddenly panicking.

"Zachariah Daniels," Macey giggled. "But since he's in America now he likes to be called Zach."

"Hey, that guy has a really cool name," Zach said.

"Oh, come _on,"_ I groaned. "How many Hebrew names are there in the world? And he gets stuck with _Zach?_"

Macey and Grant laughed. I imagined Zach to be smirking. "It's not funny," I mumbled.

"Get over it you, guys," Macey said. "Okay, now walk by... Zach." Macey giggled. "Sorry. Anyway. Go up to him but don't talk to him. Just walk past him. Brush your shoulder against his chest."

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard," I told her.

"Hey, it works."

Sighing, I put my cell phone away and walked towards the bar. Oh, God. Zach Daniels was smirking. He smirked. For fuck's sake. WHAT IS WITH THESE BOYS AND SMIRKING?

I did my best to ignore that and did what Macey told me. His eyes followed me appreciatively but when I had completed my shoulder brush he didn't move. "Sit down on the stool," Macey ordered. "This is really fun." I glanced at Zachariah. He was still smirking. And with his brown hair and James Dean stature he sort of looked like Zach too.

I ordered something very alocholic. I had a feeling I was going to need it. "And three... two..." Macey counted down. I had a strange feeling of deja vu. The last time she had counted down like that, I had been uh, on top of a different Zach in a different hotel under a different cover. And now, here I was, about to be on top of another Zach in another hotel with another ridiculous cover.

"Hey," a smooth, deep voice greeted. My stomach tightened. "What's your name?"

"This guy is totally lame," Zach over the comms said.

"Be quiet," Macey shushed.

"Li- Liana Bell," I stammered. His smirk increased in size. My stomach tightened more.

"Do I know your father?" Zach in front of me asked. "Adam Bell? We play tennis together."

I swallowed. "Yeah," I said. "Wow, he doesn't like very many people." I added a small smile. My drink arrived. I took a slightly-longer-than-polite sip.

Zach took my hand and kissed it. Goosebumps rose on my skin. "I can be very charming when I want to be."

"I AM BORING MYSELF WITH THIS LAME-FEST," Zach over the comms half-yelled. I winced.

"Stop being jealous that Zachariah is smoother than you," Macey yawned."Believe it or not, _'Spy'_ is only hot so many times."

I took another sip of my highly alcoholic drink. "Are you okay?" Zach in front of me asked. He must've been referring to my wince. His grip on my hand loosened.

"Say, 'I get nervous around charming people, sorry'," Grant ordered.

I repeated what he said.

Macey groaned. "This is not going to-" But then Zach in front of me hand's tightened again and he smiled. "Wow, it worked. Good job, Newman."

"It's because this guy's a total lame-ass," Zach muttered.

"Shut up, not-as-sauve Zach," Macey snapped.

"Don't be nervous," Zach in front of me said. He let go of my hand and walked two steps away, gesturing for me to follow him. I did so, not forgetting my very alcoholic drink.

"And may I ask your name?" I said, trying to sound not-flustered.

Zach in front of me stopped and turned around, smirking again. "Zachariah Daniels. You can call me Zach."

* * *

"Tell me about yourself, Miss Bell," Zach said later on when we were in his hotel room. I had finished my drink.

"'You like swimming'," Macey said.

"I like swimming," I began.

"'And nice clothes'," Macey continued.

"And nice clothes," I repeated.

"'But you don't like nice guys'," Macey finished.

"But I don't like nice guys," I said, making eye contact.

"'These are not the droids you are looking for'," Grant said.

"Thes-" I shut up.

Grant laughed.

Zach in front of me smirked. AGAIN. He leaned forward in front of me. "I can be the bad guy if you want me to be."

Zach over the comms unit made a huge elaborate over-exaggerated yawning sound.

"Say 'Great, let's go do it now'," Grant joked. I fumed silently.

Zach in front of me walked closer to me. I backed up one step. He advanced two steps. We played this game until I was backed up against the wall. "Oi, Goode! Stop sulking and watch this, it's like, free porn," Grant laughed. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from commenting. Zach in front of me starting kissing my neck. "Cammie's gonna have a HICKEY!" Grant called.

"Sigh," Macey said. I couldn't tell if that was to me or to being stuck in a car with Grant. "Sigh, Cammie!"

Oh. I sighed. "That's a sound I like to hear," Zach in front of me said, leaning back and_ smirking again_. And somehow, I wasn't annoyed. In fact, it was sort of cute. The smirk.

"Now it's your turn," Macey said. "Push him on the bed."

I wanted to scream _I thought I didn't actually have to have sex with him! _but that would've been a bit obvious.

So I pushed him on the bed and hoped for the best.

Turns out, Zach in front of me wanted that to happen. I saw the proof.

Grant sounded amazed. "Shit, Macey, how do you know all this stuff?"

I imagined Macey rolling her eyes. "I've had a lot of practice, unlike you, Newman."

"Dude, look at that," Grant said. "Good job, Mace. That is... that is passion. That is lust. That's, uh..."

"That's an erection," Macey said.

"Look at how lame he is!" Zach said. "At least _I_ waited until I could see down Cammie's dress."

"Not something to be proud of!" Macey cried.

I bit lip. Hard. Zach in front of me flipped me over so he was on top of me.

"Fuck him," Zach on the comms unit muttered.

"That's what she's attempting to do," Grant said.

My dress was on the floor. Zach in front of me was only in his boxers now.

"We're turning off the video feed now," Macey informed me.

Grant sighed.

* * *

"So, how was it?" Grant asked, grinning wildly half an hour later.

I climbed into the car and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Cammie, Cammie, Cammie," Grant sighed knowledgeably. "You are now an expert at the art of seduction."

I shrunk back in my seat, trying to be as small as possible.

"Good job," Macey grinned.

"You guys didn't even do anything!" I cried out. "I thought I was supposed to be distracting this Zachariah guy while you looked for something!"

Macey and Grant looked at each other, then burst out laughing.

This was totally not right. "What's going on?" I asked Zach (Goode. Not Daniels.) He shrugged.

"Cammie, Cammie," Grant sighed again. "So experienced, yet so naive."

"You know bad guys don't actually look that good, right?" Macey snorted. Something was sinking in my stomach. It was either my heart or my pride. Probably both. The car door opened. Zachariah slid in next to me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God."

"That's me," Zachariah said cheerfully.

I stared at him, then at Macey, then at Grant, then at Zach of the Goode variety. He wasn't looking at me.

"You're so joking," I spluttered.

"You- you- you made me- you made _me_ **seduce-**"

Grant and Macey looked at each other again. Then burst out laughing. Again. Zachariah smirked. Zach looked back at me. He was smirking too.

"But- but- but-" I stuttered."He's not a bad guy?"

Zachariah put two fingers under my chin, tilting my head up towards him. "I can be whoever you want me to be, sweetheart."

"MACEY MCHENRY I'M GOING TO KILL YOU," I screamed.

Macey twisted around. "You'll thank me later, Cammie, when you go on your _real_ seduction mission."

"My real-" I started panicking again.

"Zach, calm her down, will you?" Macey asked.

Zach on my right side (Goode) put his arm around me. "If it makes you feel any better, I really do think Zachariah is a lame-ass."

Zachariah snorted. "Dude, you're the one with the stupid catch phrase."

"But-"

Zach leaned forward and kissed me.

* * *

**Macey--**

"Hey, McHenry," Grant said. "See how Zach and Cammie are making out in the back? We should follow suit."

"In your dreams, Newman."

* * *

**i just had to. i just HAD to. i HAD to. :D**

**things to know/review questions--**

-zachariah, i have no idea where he came from seriously. hey, what are your thoughts on him anyway?

-this is officially a oneshot series, but don't expect it to be updated a lot. but they'll all be awkward sex covers related. uhh, because i'm weird like that.

-funny line, quote anything?

-and ideas for the next oneshot in this series?

-so that's it.

**edit--**

-sorry. i realized one sentence got completely cut off.

-whether cammie slept with zachariah or not is up to your little minds to interpret(:

**end quote-- 'cuz it's sex related**

tom: Enough to know that your horizons must be... widened.  
_becoming jane_

heh, funneh shit.


	3. I Dare You

**thanks to**_ lilythesilly_** for writing it with me.  
and thanks to **_chasing after rainbows_** for being the argentina of beta-ing.  
**chuck bass** and **seb mantegna** for both of them.**

so since i've rated this M now, i don't feel bad about the swearing. or the uh, content. okay, i sort of do.  
but i'm just saying.  
you've been warned.

* * *

**I Dare You**

**Cammie--**

Macey came squealing up and hugged me, slipping a quarter between the strap of my bag and my shoulder. "Ohmygosh, I haven't seen you in forever!" she cried, even though we were roommates. "Where've you been, girl?"

Macey detached herself and sighed. "God, this assignment is totally buzz-kill. I already know how to brush pass, dammit."

I adjusted my bag and slipped the quarter into my hand, agreeing. Macey leaned against the bar with a drink in her hand. "And this place is so boring," she muttered, looking around. I hadn't gone to many clubs, so I decided not to say anything. "Hey, wanna play a game?"

I blinked. "Uh, sure," I said. I ordered a drink and turned back to her. "What do you want to play?"

Macey thought about it for an extraordinary short amount of time, then cocked her head to the side and said, "Truth or Dare, but without the Truth part. Only Dares."

"Sounds like fun."

Macey grinned. "It is. I'll go first! I dare you to tease Zach."

My drink arrived. I picked it up and sipped it. "Uh, what, like 'na na na, you suck'?"

Macey rolled her eyes. "Of course not, that's stupid. No, I mean, like, tease him..." she searched for the right word. "Sexually." She nodded and took a sip of her drink.

I choked on my drink. "Uh, like seduce him?" I spluttered. "I've done enough of that in the past few weeks, thank you very much."

Macey rolled her eyes again. "Of course not, that's also really stupid. No. Tease him, like, act like you're going to seduce him, but pull away when he can't keep it in his pants."

I stared at her. "Are you crazy?" I asked.

Macey looked offended. "I'm bored."

**Zach--**

"Oi, Goode!" I looked up from my drink with a bored expression. Bex Baxter was walking towards me with a stupid grin on her face - she was either drunk or high.

"What do you want, Baxter?" I said dryly. I slammed my drink down and nodded to the waiter, ordering another one. She just stood there, expecting me to guess. I shrugged. It was after six so I was off the clock and too drunk to do the spy guessing games with her. I looked at the bar, there were no peanuts. Epic fail.

I grabbed my drink before the bartender could hand it to me. "Seriously, what do you want? 'Cause you're kinda ruining my mood. I just got back from an ass-whoop mission and I'd like to be drunk."

Bex shrugged. "Ah, well then, never mind. I just thought that instead of being in a bar, you could be in Cammie's pants. But it's your call, I guess."

I dropped my glass. "What're you talking about, Baxter?"

She shrugged. "Maybe a little bet? If you can't get Cammie to sleep with you by tonight, then you owe me seventy five bucks. See win-win? If you win, you get laid. If I win, I get paid."

I sat down on the bar stool and placed my drink on the bar. "You make an excellent point."

She shrugged again and snorted. "Yeah, well, I'm just smarter than you are. So I'll know tomorrow then? And trust me, I'll know - Cammie tells me everything. Speaking of, I didn't know you were one for foreplay." She laughed and walked away, finishing my drink.

I glared and ordered another one. Whatever, Baxter.

**Cammie--**

"Hey, Zach," I greeted, sitting next to him and leaning forward pointedly.

He didn't react. Well, he smirked. But he always did that.

Fuck. This was going to be a bit harder than I thought.

"Gallagher Girl," he greeted, taking a long drink. "Has your bed been feeling lonely lately?"

I was surprised. First, Zachary Goode doesn't use totally lame (and sometimes, regrettably hot) lines like that. And two, I was supposed to be teasing him. I regained my composure and took a sip of my own drink. "Actually," I said, leaning forward even more so my lips were almost touching his. One of his hands was on my thigh. Already. "No." I pulled back and walked off, leaving him there looking kind of shocked.

I finished off my drink. I had a feeling I would need it to get through the night doing this dare.

**Macey--**

I sat in the villain-like black minivan with Bex, while we giggled like crazy. "She won't be able to do this. It's Zach. She can't_ just _tease him."

Bex snorted and grabbed the popcorn from the front seat. "She better. I need my seventy five dollars. Especially since I lost sixty to Jonas last week."

"What'd you bet him?" I asked.

"If he could create a new equation to prove Einstein's theory of relativity, and the fucking egghead did it. If anything, we should have placed this bet between Jonas and Liz."

"I'd doubt it. Last week I asked Liz if she was a virgin and she giggled. I think that speaks for itself."

**Zach--**

What the fuck?

"Yo, Goode," Grant Newman said, perching himself on the barstool next to me. "You look bewildered."

"Dude, nobody talks like that," I told him, finishing off another drink. "Hey, does Bex ever suddenly not want sex?"

"Amusing question. And no - Bex is a sex goddess," Grant said.

I frowned. "Unneeded visual."

"What, did Cammie castrate you or something? Maybe she's PMSing."

"No, that's creepy, Newman."

I thought more about what had just happened.

"Well, in case your sex life with Cammie is ever lacking, I say, next time, set up a video camera and-" I left immediately and made a mental note to myself to never borrow a video from Grant. "It makes it more entertaining!" Grant called. I pretended I didn't know him, and saw Cammie up ahead in her short black dress.

I caught up to her and stepped in front of her. "Gallagher Girl," I greeted.

**Grant--**

I watched Zach walk away and tapped my comms unit, "Mission accomplished. I got him far away." I swallowed my drink and laughed while Zach tried to run his hand up Cammie's dress.

"Bex, a sex goddess? Not that I'd like to see."

"Quit your bloody laughing, McHenry. And don't knock the video camera idea either. It can be very fulfilling." Bex's thick accent came out in a defensive tone.

I agreed, "Yeah, especially since I look so _goddamned_ good shirtless." I laughed and glared at the guy passing by and staring at me. "What's wrong with you, punk-ass? Ever see a guy talk on a Bluetooth before?" He walked away embarrassed. "Jackass," I muttered.

"Someone seems offended," Macey sang, bursting out in laughter.

"Someone needs voice lessons." The laughter ceased. Hell yeah. Fear the Greek Goddess, McHenry.

**Jonas--**

"This is so mean," I muttered to my laptop screen which had a video connection to Macey's van.

"Jonas! Almost forgot you were there, buddy," Macey cried happily. She was probably drunk or something. "Anyway, remember what our deal was? I gave you the equation for Bex's dare. You owe me."

"I didn't expect you to be that smart," I said. I really hadn't. "I could've figured it out for myself." I really could have.

"But you didn't. So now you help us with Zach and Cammie or Liz gets a certain picture-"

"Fine!"

I sighed and (have this noted that this is totally against my morals) got out my phone, dialing. "Uh, Zach," I said.

"Yeah man? I'm a bit busy," he replied.

"I need some help."

"Where are you?"

I swallowed, "In the bathroom."

Macey started cracking up.

"Why the hell do you need help in the bathroom?"

"I just do, okay?" I cried. "I might need two people."

"What the fuck do you need two people for?"

"Dude, just trust me, alright?"

Zach sighed, "Fine. Whatever."

Macey burst out laughing. "Fucking classic."

I closed the laptop and tucked it under my arm as the bathroom door opened. Zach and Cammie stood at the door, looking at me. "I'm fine now," I said calmly.

Zach was starting to look seriously pissed.

I sped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me, then locked it. I sprinted out of the club and jumped into the black van. "Good job Jonas!" Macey cried, high-fiving me.

"I'm never doing that again," I mumbled. "And I have a question - if you don't want Zach to have sex with Cammie, why are we locking them in a bathroom together?"

Macey rolled her eyes. "You're so unexperienced, Jo. Obviously we need incriminating evidence against Zach, just in case he annoys us. Like your photo." I cringed. Macey pointed to the screen. "Come on, Jonas. Cheer up and enjoy the show."

**Liz--**

This whole going-behind-Zach-and-Cammie's-back really went against my morals, but they needed to get together already. And I don't mean together as a one night stand. Like boyfriend and girlfriend. Like me and Jonas. They just seem to hit it and quit it.

I turned to Jonas a minute later. "What picture was Macey talking about a minute ago?"

His ears reddened and he blushed. "Well, erm, it involves me after a few wine coolers and...."

I cut him off with a giggle. "Jo, I've already seen it. It was all over the CIA database. But you did look rather _handsome_ shirtless." I giggled when more blood seemed to flood his cheeks.

Bex spoke through my comms, "Hey, can you get a visual of Zach and Cammie? We aren't getting anything from ours."

I flipped around and glanced at my computer, adjusting the cameras, then spoke, "They're just sitting on the bathroom floor. Cammie looks frustrated and Zach looks sexually frustrated."

**Cammie--**

"Try the door again," I suggested.

Zach gave me a look. "I've already tried the door eight times. It's locked."

"How is it locked? It's a public restroom!" I cried.

"You try it!"

Sighing, I got up off the floor and tried the door. It was locked - like he said. I tried unlocking it. No such luck. "Do you have a bobby pin?" I asked Zach.

"Why on earth would I have a bobby pin, Cammie," Zach said, monotone.

"Sorry I offended you," I muttered, bending over and examining the lock. An idea sparked. I straightened back up and walked over to Zach.

"Give up?" He asked, smirking.

I reached for his belt and undid it, standing unnecessarily close to him (I did have a dare to fulfil, after all). "Can I borrow this?" I asked, holding it up. He blinked, looking momentarily surprised.

"Go ahead," he mumbled.

**Zach--**

Did she really just take my belt? Hopefully she doesn't hook it again because it doubles as a machine gun.

While she tried to unlock the lock I hit my head on the wall. I had a bet to complete and I wanted to complete it for two reasons. A: I haven't been laid since Thursday. B: I didn't want to give Baxter seventy five bucks.

Turning on my charm, I got up and walked over towards Cammie, grabbing the belt from her hands and laying it gently on the floor (gun, remember?). The lights flickered, about half of them going out. It set a mood. She turned and looked at me with confused eyes, and I smirked, pinning her against the wall.

"Maybe being locked in here isn't such a bad thing, Gallagher Girl." That did it; she was suddenly anxious and anticipating.

She blinked and I leaned in towards her mouth, in the last second I turned and kissed her neck. Two could play the tease game. She'd snap eventually.

**Tina--**

I opened the power cables and studied them, trying to find the right ones. "We need an update, Tina. How's the power and water stage going?" Macey's voice asked over the comms unit.

"Brilliant," I replied, cutting a green wire. Half the lights went out including the ones in a certain bathroom. "Moving on to water now."

I heaved myself up into a vent and crawled until I was on top of the bathroom. I could hear Zach's voice. "Maybe being locked in here isn't such a bad thing, Gallagher Girl." I pulled a match out of my pocket and lit it and waited two seconds. Kissing noises. Oh, brilliant. Quietly, I knocked out a grill and slid it next to me, stuck an arm out and blew out the match so the smoke went straight through the smoke detector.

"We've cut off the alarm system. The only thing that should go off is-" Macey began, but I already had my answer. Sprinklers. I put the grill back in place and crawled back to where I started.

Over the comms unit, Grant laughed. "Haha, Zach and Cammie are getting wet, in, uh, more ways than one."

**Liz--**

"Alright, activating sprinkler camera...now." I flicked the switch and Zach and Cammie came into view. Poor guy, he looked almost desperate. So did Cammie.

"Sorry, Bex. Looks like you aren't going to get your money," I said sympathetically. Cammie's shirt was already off and Zach's pants were half down.

Bex started muttering profanities, and Macey sighed. "Liz, turn it off. I really don't feel like watching a porno right now."

"Hey! I do!" Oh goodness, sometimes Grant could be a piece of work.

_the next day_

**Macey--**

"Wow, that_ is_ really weird," I said boredly, as Cammie told me about what happened last night. "Stuck in a bathroom with Zach, that's..._wow_. What happened?"

I genuinely wanted to know, seeing as we had cut off the video feed.

She gave me a small, un-Cammie-like smile. "I finished the dare," she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

On cue, Bex walked in through the door. "60, 70," she counted then groaned. "Goode! You still owe me five bucks!" she yelled. Zach appeared at the doorway. "Five dollars."

"It's five dollars, Baxter, just let it go-"

"It's five dollars, I can buy a fucking sandwich with that. Come on, cough up," Bex ordered.

Zach rolled his eyes and patted his pockets. Cammie was finishing up a crossword puzzle, looking perfectly natural. "So, since you guys don't look like you're together or anything, will it be safe to tell you that we were the ones that locked you in the bathroom with the sprinklers?" I asked.

The moment seemed to freeze. Cammie raised her eyebrows over the top of the crossword and Zach stopped looking for the money.

"_**WHAT**_?!" Cammie shrieked.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, we were just messing with you guys. Give the money back, Bex," I told the girl.

Bex shook her head. "_Hell _no. This is mine now, sucka!" she yelled, running out of the room after taking a five dollar bill out of Zach's jacket pocket.

We all stared at her go.

Grant walked in. "So does that mean that Zach _didn't_ do Cammie?" He scoffed and turned towards Zach. "And you said you were _goode._"

* * *

-yeah. i used the pun. SUE ME.

-i sort of hate the title. all i'm saying. i'll probably change it when i think of a cooler one.

-i'm still open to any other one-shot ideas.

**end quote:  
**Mr. G: Thank God you're here, Grandma's been raped!  
_summer heights high_


End file.
